because they care

He's more machine than man now, twisted and evil, because he cares. All of what he said is applicable to himself, and he doesn't want to see us go that way. Sadly that coupled on with all the external stress provided by the dark forces of evil, he snaps and hence all the backlash falls. and because we are so similar, we clash , hurtful words are said, and there is no exchange I hold back the words that would break him. Sadly, he cares all about the wrong things now, or maybe it is I who cares about the wrong things and he is right, after all its all a matter of perspective And as I foolishly keep on trying, I know he doesnt care at all. My true true friends have already told me this, yet I didnt believe them, because for some reason or another, I care about him, yet as time goes by , the hope that he would actually care fades. But it refuses to completely go away. And if you ask me why after years and years, I keep clinging on to what everyone says is a lost cause, why I cant even begin to properly convince myself that not to care, the answer is simple. Because unlike the previous case, despite how he goes about doing anything he does, I know that he cares. For better or worse, being so relatable, just as fragile, so complementary in our thinking , and he was both the words to unlock the heart of the prism and the actions to back it up. We genuinely consider everything each other says. I may have screwed it up then, I dont think i would ever manage to let go, because he was and will always be there for me. Maybe ill try again, maybe i wont, but thank you so much, you really give me the energy to keep going. We practically believe in the same ideals, and you speak simply but strongly. And those simple words just helps affirms things from time to time. I never say it enough, i dont seem to appreciate you enough , or even talk to you enough, because I am too busy trying to contain my thoughts to prevent things from becoming strange. But thanks so much. As much as i hate it, as much as i think it would be so much easier if you didnt care, i know you mean well and thank you so much, never stop caring

haze cleared

Finally , the haze is clear. And for once there isn't regrets , no bitter rubber taste nor was there that of sweet honey, maybe just a bit

clear haze

4 days of this fog has resulted in this very clear haze, where I know exactly what I'm thinking but fear I will regret after the haze has lifted. Strangely the longer the haze drags the easier it is to tolerate it. Maybe is because I finally got to reminisce that sensation

The Blue Bird's Song

Every second they’re with you, they’re breaking your heart and they don’t even know it.

a spoonful of sugar

So I was just walking back home in the rain, looking down as I usually do, and suddenly this guy comes up to me and shelters me with an umbrella. I didn't need it but I have always wondered if anyone would ever do that. Never once have I seen someone try to overcome the awkwardness and try to do that. And it wasn't awkward at all. I waited 20+ years to see this. Thank you random dude ! And I gotta stop being that horrible hypocrite

Friendzoned

that sinking feeling the worst part is, i see them so damn often. And they are so damned nice to me. I cant even bring myself to psycho myself otherwise ( no there is no redundant phrasing there) it makes it so much harder. that ache that burns whenever anything related comes up. so dull yet so sharp. I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, no wine untasted But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hope apart As they turn your dream to shame He slept a summer by my side He filled my days with endless wonder He took my childhood in his stride But he was gone when autumn came And still I dream he'll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed _________________________________________ It really was a lonely september. and october

Stain the mind

the draw, the call, how much it sings out to you. tainted. every last bit of it. the backlash of the foul substance after release. until it's been cleansed with magic. neveer again. I write these words in steel that which can't be changed the sane curse as that Aztec gold. turning the most amazing thing in the world into ash on your lips remember it isn't rng it's will power. and will power has finally produce the dawn. the bringer of life and death =P remember the key to unlocking the prism is the wheel of time. it seems the dawn has come, may it rise with Alexia