because they care

He's more machine than man now, twisted and evil, because he cares. All of what he said is applicable to himself, and he doesn't want to see us go that way. Sadly that coupled on with all the external stress provided by the dark forces of evil, he snaps and hence all the backlash falls. and because we are so similar, we clash , hurtful words are said, and there is no exchange I hold back the words that would break him. Sadly, he cares all about the wrong things now, or maybe it is I who cares about the wrong things and he is right, after all its all a matter of perspective And as I foolishly keep on trying, I know he doesnt care at all. My true true friends have already told me this, yet I didnt believe them, because for some reason or another, I care about him, yet as time goes by , the hope that he would actually care fades. But it refuses to completely go away. And if you ask me why after years and years, I keep clinging on to what everyone says is a lost cause, why I cant even begin to properly convince myself that not to care, the answer is simple. Because unlike the previous case, despite how he goes about doing anything he does, I know that he cares. For better or worse, being so relatable, just as fragile, so complementary in our thinking , and he was both the words to unlock the heart of the prism and the actions to back it up. We genuinely consider everything each other says. I may have screwed it up then, I dont think i would ever manage to let go, because he was and will always be there for me. Maybe ill try again, maybe i wont, but thank you so much, you really give me the energy to keep going. We practically believe in the same ideals, and you speak simply but strongly. And those simple words just helps affirms things from time to time. I never say it enough, i dont seem to appreciate you enough , or even talk to you enough, because I am too busy trying to contain my thoughts to prevent things from becoming strange. But thanks so much. As much as i hate it, as much as i think it would be so much easier if you didnt care, i know you mean well and thank you so much, never stop caring

haze cleared

Finally , the haze is clear. And for once there isn't regrets , no bitter rubber taste nor was there that of sweet honey, maybe just a bit

clear haze

4 days of this fog has resulted in this very clear haze, where I know exactly what I'm thinking but fear I will regret after the haze has lifted. Strangely the longer the haze drags the easier it is to tolerate it. Maybe is because I finally got to reminisce that sensation